Let’s get ready to RUMMMMMMMBBBLLLEEE!! In this corner, we have a normal human who is definitely not a psychopath, and in the opposite corner we have… a fly. Just like, a fly. Also Julian is here and has an amazing story about melting gold with acid rain!

Tonight our chefs have prepared an all-natural pasture-raised and pristine ivory-hued plutonic entree, slow-cooked under rich, Indian-spiced tectonic compression for 50 million years, adorned with a constellation of tourmaline and garnet, presented alongside gossamer-thin schist ribbons. Then, for dessert, an insulative coating of CHOOH2 which should leave your myelinated neuronal strands feeling slick and hyper-conductive.

In this episode, we learn Julian used to wear fedoras. He says, it’s been forever and a day, but I’m going to wait a Planck beard-second to see if that bears out. Before that, Trace combs through the hairy subject of human fur — about which he’s an experienced expert. Plus, like a hair on the tongue of your mind we just can’t seem to stop screaming about this one emo song.

Ever get caught in a light drizzle and think, "Ah, this is nice"? WELL WHAT IF IT WAS ACTUALLY HORRIFYING??? Julian explores the several ways air resistance keeps rainstorms from becoming catastrophic bombardments from the sky. Then Trace tries to get inside the mind of Julian's chihuahua. Turns out most of her thoughts boil down to "shake" and "bark".

Wheel wheel wheel … this episode definitely gave us both a headache. I swear we’re not going to conquer every silly meme from your group text (or maybe we will?).

This episode Trace tears into the age-old question, “What color should your English notebook be?” Special guest MJ Wu from the podcast Everything is Public Health looks at dogs and broccoli and somehow relates them to public health, and Julian attempts to find permanent sunscreen for his pale, pale, oh-so-pale skin. Is it gross? You betcha!

If you were shrunk REALLY ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᵣₑₐₗₗᵧ ₛₘₐₗₗ … would we be able to live? Did the documentary “Honey, I shrunk the kids” LIE to us?! Julian grabs his magnifying glass to learn Mor(anis). Meanwhile, Trace wants to know if … if the … uh, the … BLARG! IF SPEAKING A NONSENSE WORD can actually help!

Easter is around the corner, but where does that weird Bunny get all the eggs? And why are there eggs in the first place? Guest Yasmin Khan (The Young Turks) has an answer. Meanwhile, Julian explores the word of bat-style crime fighting on a budget and Trace explores if living on Mars would make us super aggro!

Can the sun be beaten at its own game… OF BEING A SUN?! Julian shines some light on it. Meanwhile, as he spends time on the science of the extremely large, Trace gathers data concerning the massive impact of 0s and 1s.

Happy love celebration week!! In honor of how much we LOVE our patreon subscribers, Trace and Julian answer two winners of our Patreon polls! It takes two 🎶 to make a dream come true 🎶 It just takes two — or is it three? What if it was three? Julian checks the math. Meanwhile, Trace (wait doesn’t that mean three again?) gets around in the animal kingdom, but not the waay you thiiiink!

Space, the final frontier — of cuisine. This week Trace unpacks the standard food replicator used by the United Federation of Planets. Meanwhile, in Scene 34, Julian ponders of coconuts could actually find their way to Arthurian England vis-a-vis Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail.

This episode Julian gears up for the last great race with an irresponsible amount of chihuahuas while Trace finds a use for AI that it might actually be suited for.

Hey man, like, if you took all the drugs … like, all of them. What would happen? Would you die? I mean, like, that’s just your opinion, man.

For some reason Julian and Trace both selected Spider-Man related questions. We felt like two Tobey Maguires dancing down the street in perfect sync. Julian critiques Spidey’s famous swingy transportation, and Trace learns a lot from New York City* train nerds.

Happy holidays! This episode is… weird. Now, normally, we have systems in place to prevent this problem from happening. Somehow we failed. I swear this all happened exactly as you heard! We’re so cooked, y’all. Or at least… that chicken is.

There's a quote attributed to Albert Einstein, "sit with a pretty girl for an hour and it feels like a minute; sit on a hot stove for a minute and it feels like many hours. That's relativity." There's no evidence he actually said this, but that didn't stop Julian from turning up the heat on his question. Meanwhile, Trace took the DNA from all his cells and strung it together end-to-end. How long do you think that strand would be? What if we took all the DNA from ALL the LIFE on EARTH?! There's a lot of life here!

This week, Trace delves into some temporal fantasies, like: why people think if they could travel into the past they’d become lords and queens, and not serfs or worse!? Meanwhile, Julian measures the terminal velocity of poo-poo and pee-pee in very tall buildings. Our show is so weird.

If you made a video call to someone on the other end of a very, very, very long stick would it be possible to poke them with the stick before the video showed them that you’d moved? Would this impossible, absurd invention move faster than the speed of light?!? Julian pokes around to see. Then, after a Spongebob-style “Meanwhile” title card… Trace grabs a clock and huh’s about why the hands don’t go counter-clockwise. Do they just go with the flow? or is there something else afoot?? Er… a-hand?

Friction! It’s what makes the world go rou— No, wait. That’s not it.

Friction. It’s what keeps the world from spinning off into spaa—- That’s not it either.

Friction… It’s what keeps your shoes from being too slippy, but also, like, just slippy enough?

Sigh Also, dog bark science. Enjoy!