You're Gonna Need At Least 8,000 More Pirates | Pod 119
This week, Trace takes a closer look at one of the boldest maneuvers in pirate cinema: whether a determined crowd could actually flip something the size of an aircraft carrier by running from one side to the other like in the documentary “Pirates of the Caribbean.” Meanwhile, Julian investigates the logistics of purchasing the Sun—who exactly you’d pay for it, what ownership might legally mean, and how tempting it would be to start charging the planet a small recurring fee for access to daylight.
This Man Built a Piss Rocket. Seriously. (feat. Lieven Scheire) | Pod 118
This week, we’re rewriting the rules of life, starting at the molecular level and ending 250 miles above Earth. Julian digs into what would happen if our genetic code were triple-stranded like the Time Lords from Doctor Who. Except, TNA does exist (just not the way you think), and triple-stranded DNA isn’t possible… or is it? Meanwhile, all-star guest and fart-gun connoisseur Lieven Scheire phones a friend who casually happens to be a former ISS commander to figure out how long astronauts could survive if everyone on Earth vanished, breaking it down into the four things you have to consider: water, oxygen, fuel, and cannibalism—wait, sorry, food! We meant food…
Gimmie Glue, a Lever, and a Frickin' 1999 Toyota Corolla | Pod 117
This week on the most serious, most dramatic podcast ever recorded, Trace finally takes Archimedes up on his little boast: “Give me a lever and I can move the world.” Bold claim from a man who’s never seen a 1999 Toyota Corolla. Meanwhile, Julian enters the stickiest thought experiment imaginable—yep, even stickier than trying to eat a spoonful of peanut butter with absolutely nothing to wash it down.
Ain't No Rule Says Bodily Fluids Can't Be Seasoning | Pod 116
This week, Julian—hoping to crown the true MVP of the animal kingdom—drafts the ultimate basketball beast, while Trace turns up the heat to find out whether we’re actually sweating in hot showers and, more deliciously, how many workouts it would take to perfectly season an omelette with his own hard-earned salt.
TAPE Classic | D&D Pee and Chickpea TNT
In this emergency rerun episode, Trace’s quest for answers takes him to a magical fantasy land of wizards, frozen keys, and bodily fluids. Meanwhile Julian discovers that there are about 3 degrees of separation between chickpeas and dynamite. Yes, really.
P.S. Turns out pipes have strong opinions about podcasting schedules...mine burst. 🫠 We’re drying out and will be back next week with a brand-new episode—ideally aired from somewhere that isn’t classified as an above ground pool. - Trace
A Tiny Space Between an Ablution and Electrocution | Pod 115
Both Julian and Trace did ‘a journalism’ this week! First, Julian learns that electricity is NOT magic (but will kill you) by calling a relative who makes lightning in a lab. Then, TracecalledaprofessorfromUCLAtoseehowmuchspacethatwouldsave.
Turnsoutnotthatmuch. AlsoitmakesEVERYTHINGsomuchhardertoread.
Trippin' Unicorn Learny Journey ✨️ | Pod 114
This week Julian hunts the medical mysteries behind the mystical unicorn horn, and Trace reads a loooooooot of government regulations looking to get tripped up by one tiny thing.
Which Came Last: the Tortoise or the Onion Unraveling into Nothingness? | Pod 113
Anyone who’s ever had to educate a talking donkey would know, onions have layers (just like ogres). But, just like in the story with the giant, green, scottish (?) ogre — it’s important to remember the lessons behind the fables! Like the tortoise and the hare, which reminds us that even if the tortoise doesn’t win the race, it’ll outlive a rabbit by several decades. Take that RABBIT.
Papyrus is Temporary but a Body on Pluto is Forever (feat. Ralph Crewe) | Pod 112
This week Julian takes a pleasant trip down to his local Egyptian library and tries to save it from burning to the ground and dramatically altering the course of history. And returning guest host Ralph Crewe explores the solar system in the most macabre way possible!
Lasagna Batteries? Aww Heli(copter) Yeah! | Pod 111
It’s our first episode of the new year! Welcome to 2026! In this, wild episode Trace (recording from his parent’s sun room) explores the chemistry and power of the lasagna battery. Then, Julian flies off the handle about helicopters as a gift for himself for his birthday (Happy Birthday, Julian! 🎂)
This'll be weird… Happy Holidays from TAPE! | Pod 110
Like Boromir said, "It is a gift! Let us use it against them!" The internet has been taken over by #lofi girls, so we commissioned an artist to turn Julian and Trace into our own #lofigirl for the holidays! (Is it a lofi girl? are we lofi guys? We're honestly not sure. Either way, we did it!!)
We love you all! Thanks for making 2025 such an amazing year (for our little community) even though it was generally a terrible year for gestures broadly. Hope this can being a little light to your holiday season. Enjoy the wintery lofi beats interspersed with #holiday-themed fun facts! See you in 2026!
TAPE Classic | Red Sky at Night Batman’s Delight! (feat. Yasmin Khan from TYT & Jasmine Miller from Give Directly)
Support your giving goals this holiday season! Go to GiveDirectly.org/Absurd and get a 100% match by Giving Multiplier! (Don't dilly-dally this match is only until the end of the year!)
This episode aired around Easter, prompting us to ask: where does that weird Bunny get all the eggs? And why are there eggs in the first place? Guest Yasmin Khan (The Young Turks) has an answer. Meanwhile, Julian explores the word of bat-style crime fighting on a budget and Trace explores if living on Mars would make us super aggro!
The Soundtrack of Eternity (Good Band Name) | Pod 109
If your life had a soundtrack what would it be? Up-tempo action music? Epic orchestral swells? Romantic… xylophones? Are xylophones romantic? We don’t know, we’re podcasters, not EGOT-winning music producers of screen and stage. Maybe it’s a good thing you can’t hear what’s in our heads… aside from on this show where we say everything in our heads, obviously. In this episode Trace explores what it might be like if the music in your head had a public feed. Meanwhile Julian tries to figure out what he couldn’t do even if he had all the time in the world. Seriously, all of it.
The Buffet Hates to See THIS Tardigrade Coming | LIVE from the Bay Area Science Festival | Pod 108
We did another live show!! I’m not sure how we convinced the Bay Area Science Festival that we are a legitimate podcast, but, hey, people actually showed up to watch the show in-person in San Francisco. We had an extremely tight window, and are famously (infamously?) long-winded, so in this episode special guest Dr Wallace Marshall ponders the nightmare of giant tardigrades, and Trace looks into the availability of gluttony… you know, for science.
If you want to have our show on the road to you — send us an email at hello at thatsabsurdshow.com !
Thanksgiving Rerun | Melting Witches with Inflated Heads
Happy American Turkey Consumption Day! 🦃 In honor of the national holiday we've let Kyle out of his editing dungeon and let him celebrate with his family. We're doing the same, and we hope those of you who are celebrating have a beautiful holiday. We're thankful for YOU, not just saying that, we put time and effort into this ridiculous show, and y'all keep showing up week after week. That means so much to us. Thank you. We decided in honor of the release of "Wicked 2: We Swear It's Good," we're re-releasing episode 39! Don't let it melt!
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This episode Trace travels to the magical land of Oz. It’s disgusting. Meanwhile Julian is going to meet him there as soon as he can fill his head with 7 cement trucks of gas.
Stuck in a Time Loop while ‘Doing Taxes’ (feat. Danielle Bezalel) | Pod 107
If we say: Making whoopee. Polishing the broomstick. The pickle tickle. Shagging. Enjoying Taco Tuesday. Parking the beef bus in Tuna Town. Waxing the carrot. Boinking. Glazing donuts. Going downtown. … I think you get what we mean (right?)
This week, special guest Danielle probes the terrible scenario where ‘Doing Taxes’ was more like actually filing financial paperwork than going for a roll in the hay. Meanwhile, Trace gets stuck in some kind of time loop (no groundhogs were harmed in the answering of this question).
In case the above wasn’t clear: This episode definitely acknowledges the existence of sex.
Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? Civil Engineers. | Pod 106
You know what's passé? Chemical rockets. Powering a space ship by harnessing the expanding gasses of a controlled explosion and shooting off to parts unknown guided only by fire, math, and spite for the force of gravity? Yawn. What if instead you got like, 40 cyclists with thighs as big as tree trunks that just won't quit, stuck them on some stationary bikes, and used them to power your spaceship like it was a sci-fi trireme from the year 30,000? WOULD THAT SOLVE ANYTHING??? Trace is going to find out.
Meanwhile Julian is very concerned with the structural integrity of some fairy-tale pig houses, because they aren't up to code and there's a storm a-comin'. And that storm's name is Wolf. Big Wolf. Big Bad Wolf.
What if humans laid eggs…? (feat. Marco Wendt) | Pod 105
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over my quaint and curious human egg, forgotten I should stretch my leg— While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door
“Though thy egg be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven, Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from a non-avian shore— Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s ratetian shore!” Quoth the Raven “No birds no more.”
Drunk Vampires and Malodius Mammals | Halloween Special! | Pod 104
In this special HALLOWEEN EPISODE ⚡️ Julian and Trace wear out Kyle’s lightning button ⚡️ and answer some SpoOOoOooOOOoky questions about ⚡️ dangerous animals ⚡️ vampires and in true Millennial fashion…⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ alcohol ⚡️
Pûre Information About Food and Poops | Pod 103
When can we all admit that we’re all scrolling instagram while sitting on the toilet? When will we admit that foods with more surface area are just darn tastier? And when will we admit that … well we’re still on the toilet because of constipation. Julian and Trace will cover all of this in this week’s episode.
Except the instagram thing, that’s still a mystery to science because no one will admit it!! WHEN CAN WE ALL ADMIT THAT WE’RE AL—sounds of being stuffed into a truck